This past weekend, like many, I gathered with friends to watch the royal wedding. Decked out in hats and champagne in hand, we all waited for that beautiful moment when the bride would make her way from the car to the alter.
We watched as two people vowed to spend forever together in front of millions of people around the world. The love was evident in every moment and every detail, from the first words he whispered to his bride to his mother’s favorite flowers sprinkled throughout the bridal bouquet.
And as the royal wedding got “taken to church” by Bishop Curry, the message of love prevailed over the day.
It was anything but conventional and it was beautiful.
The next morning as I watched some of those moments again over coffee and leftover scones with jam and cream, I read something that really stuck with me:
Race didn’t matter. Age didn’t matter. Being divorced didn’t matter.
I know I have talked about this at length but it reminded me again that sometimes we all just need to hear the words, you are enough.
We are inundated with ideas and thoughts about what careers we are supposed to pursue, what our relationships should be, when we should become parents, what clothes to wear, and really what every aspect of our lives should look like. Constantly receiving messages based on the perceptions or expectations of others about who we are supposed to be. When in fact, just being yourself is enough.
This has been a resounding theme that has continued to come up for me, particularly in the last year as I walked away from the life and career I had worked hard to build in exchange for our life down under. And while there have been moments that have been more difficult than others, I have accepted that this is my path and I am okay with that. I have learned to embrace uncertainty.
But for a long time, I thought I had to “do” to be enough – always striving for something. And while setting goals and having ambitions will always be a part of who I am, it has now turned from a place of trying to control the outcome of those things to simply trusting that it will all work out exactly the way it is supposed to.
That certainly doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing, instead I have allowed myself to let go of the expectation that doing one thing should lead to another – chasing titles and accomplishments in exchange for personal fulfillment.
What I realized is no title or accomplishment will ever take the place of the truth – that even without those things, we are all still enough.
Sometimes we just need to be willing to let go of the life we planned, so the life that is waiting for us can take shape.
I was working with a client recently who has experienced both being at the height of their career and watched everything come crashing down around them. They rebuilt their life and learned to identify their value, as opposed to allowing external circumstances to dictate their worth.
In the end, the people who were simply in his life because he was successful quickly disappeared when he had nothing. And those who showed up when he was at his lowest were the ones he realized cared for him just as he was, successful or not.
He didn’t need to be anything else, he just needed to be himself. He let go of those in his life who couldn’t see past their own judgements or expectations of who they thought he should be. And by doing so, he surrounded himself with others who saw his worth – with or without things like success, riches, and material possessions.
But how many of us are filling our life with things as opposed to simply experiencing and allowing ourselves to be open to whatever life has in store? We keep going against the natural current of where life is trying to take us in an effort to force our own agenda or plan for how we think our life should look? And at what cost?
Over dinner with friends just a few night ago, we were talking about this very thing. One of the questions I always get asked is, “was it hard for you to walk away from your career and how do you find you are going with things now?”
I was scared and that was exactly why I knew I had to do it.
Was it hard? Absolutely! In fact, redefining my career and professional life has been one of the harder adjustments that accompanied this move. But I also know that in doing so, it allowed me to step into a truer and more authentic (and a lot less stressed) version of myself.
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the thrill of success, I had just outgrown the circumstances. And each day that passes is another opportunity to simply put one foot in front of the other and be okay with just being me and knowing that if I show up, everything will work out exactly as it is supposed to.
No pressure. No expectation. No unnecessary stress.
And much like we all saw as the bride and groom exchanged their vows, your circumstances don’t matter. Your past doesn’t matter.
If you believe in yourself and that you are enough, your life will follow suit.
You will be enough. You will have enough. You will give enough.
You simply are enough.
This week, I want to challenge each of you to start the day by saying these words, “I am enough.” Whether it is the circumstances of a failed relationship, an unfulfilling career, feeling like there isn’t enough time in the day, or the pressure of balancing it all is too much – let it go. All of it. Remind yourself that life doesn’t need to be exactly what you planned for it to be beautiful.
Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to trust, even when life is uncertain.
Cheers to a new week and being enough!!