Last week, as the deadline was approaching for a piece I had recently been assigned, I found myself with a complete block not knowing what to write. It wasn’t an immensely difficult topic, it was about parenting and marriage. A year ago, I could have written the piece with my eyes closed. But a year removed from moving and major adjustments, I realized I didn’t have the ability to write this particular piece because my story was still unfolding.
I have always been one of those people who would take on any challenge. In fact, the bigger the challenge the harder I would push through. But when I decided to change everything in life and move abroad, it included my perspective and learning to let go a bit and move with the ease of divine alignment as opposed to pushing.
I called my editor and apologized. I was simply incapable of writing the piece because to do so at this point would be done in a way that wasn’t true to my voice, it wouldn’t be authentic. I told her I would rather risk losing the assignment than write a fluff piece laden with sugar-coating – which anyone who knows me, knows I am terrible at.
In being honest with her and vulnerable about my own mental block in writing the piece, there was a level of respect and understanding which led to a larger conversation – a bigger story to be written when the time is right.
It was a moment where I leaned into my own ability to say “no” when something simply wasn’t aligned with my own purpose or true to the path I was traveling on.
Later in the week, I was talking with a friend of mine who I have known for over 20 years. They walked a treacherous path just a few years ago – riddled with relationship and health issues. Two years later, as a single parent, they are actively practicing alignment in their own life.
We started discussing the importance of surrender, trust, and simple faith and how as we have both gotten older, it has become more important for us to align our minds, bodies, and souls as opposed to our bank accounts or job titles.
The trifecta of growth and alignment.
What I realized is that years ago, as I was stressed about my marriage, my career, balancing all of that with motherhood – I lost my own sense of trust. I stopped listening. I don’t necessarily think this was done intentionally but I can safely say for a period of time, I was simply on autopilot.
As I was telling my friend, who took time away from their busy schedule to slow down and reset as their own life had become stress-filled, it took me leaving everything familiar to have the space I needed to process mine. And in doing so, I see clearly the things in my life that positively contribute to my own alignment and those that don’t. With that clarity comes the freedom to make choices that previously were daunting but when aligned, make total and complete sense. In fact, the destination becomes much clearer and rather than forcing the path to get there in your own time, you have the peace to allow divine timing to work it all out – without force, instead with immense peace and trust.
But alignment doesn’t happen with the snap of a finger. It takes intention and practice to actively reframe your thought process – letting go of social and/or religious conditioning that we have all experienced in each of our lives – whether we are aware of it or not.
I was talking with my brother over the weekend about this very topic.
Years ago, when our parents divorced, none of us quite knew how to process it and because they were dealing with the emotions of walking away from 23 years together, we all learned to deal with it in our own way.
For him, he found vulnerability and trust extremely difficult. For me, compounded with losing my grandparents a year later, it manifested as a fear of abandonment. We talked about how those things affected some of our relationships through the years and the conditions we learned to place on love to protect ourselves, particularly in our 20’s.
We had a good laugh talking about it now, but agreed, it took time and painful lessons to break through those patterns. It took finding peace as adults to allow ourselves the ability to let go of that faulty conditioning. But it certainly didn’t come without bumps along the way.
When you live a lifetime under the umbrella of certain rules or fears, nothing can change until you are ready to do the work.
You can change jobs. You can change relationships. You can change circumstances. But if you aren’t taking care of the root of the issue and getting centered within yourself, you will keep repeating the same patterns. If you don’t change from the inside first, no amount of change on the outside is going to fix anything.
True alignment means letting go and surrendering, allowing yourself to reconnect to your entire being and to let your heart be the guiding force of everything.
Start with the soul. The mind and body will follow.
But how many of us hit a road block and allow that to stop us? We want instant gratification in terms of our relationships, our jobs, our own growth process, not realizing that sometimes these things take time.
When you realize that you don’t control the timing, you only control your own perspective, it allows you the ability to practice gratitude, to practice trust, to lean into faith, and open your arms to something better than what you could ever imagine.
For me, it was the realization that as much I wanted to be able to write the piece I had been assigned, I simply couldn’t because it would have been forcing myself to tell a story that has yet to be written.
This week, I want to challenge each of you to make a list of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, let’s turn around that train of thought and start focusing on all that you do.
I have a list of 10 things in my life that I am thankful for. I read them each morning and then tell myself – You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve abundant joy. I say those things without apology, without feeling conditioned to some societal version or expectation of who I am supposed to be. I simply own everything that makes me exactly who I am and am thankful – for the bumps along my own path, the successes and failures, the challenges and struggles, the uncertainty, and the moments of immense happiness and peace.
By allowing yourself to change your perspective and lead with your heart, you take priceless steps towards your own alignment. And when we are aligned in our own trifecta of life, that is when the beauty of the greater plan truly starts to take shape.
Cheers to a new week and sync’ing up with your own trifecta!